One single, solitary compliment.
Your challenge today couldn’t be simpler.
Just pay your spouse a meaningful, truthful compliment.
Because of the power in a compliment.
It seems like such a simple thing. It only takes a moment to think about it and say it, and you probably did it often while you dated.
What did you initially like about your wife? Her smile? Her eyes? Her laugh? Her dance moves?
As the relationship progressed, how did your feelings progress beyond just the physical? Was it her intellect? Her drive? What electrified you about her presence?
Then Comes Marriage…
Then like most couples, after the honeymoon was over, you settled down, got into a comfortable day to day rhythm. All of the romance faded as you both got wrapped up in the day-to-day. The Love letters stop, and so do the compliments.
It’s only natural.
All of the experts agree that compliments are worthwhile, in addition to what common sense tells us, but they don’t all agree on the frequency. Some say once a day is great, while some opinions are that once a week is great.
I say shoot for a genuine compliment at least once a day. Even if you don’t hit the mark every day, you’re sure to come close – or at least pay your spouse compliments more frequently than you are now.
Thoughts vs. Actions
Giving your spouse an honest compliment requires you to actually think about them for a period of time. It’s understandable that our busy day-to-day lives keep us from focusing on our spouses like we did while we were dating, engaged, or even during the honeymoon period. It requires you to be mindful.
Giving a compliment requires nothing besides slowing down for a few minutes of your day.
Also, giving a compliment requires you to see the good in your spouse. I am reminded of this quote from a book called Why The Sky Is Blue, by Melody Carlson. In it, the main character, Lara, says something profound:
“Love is not blind.
It sees more, not less.
But because it sees more, it is willing to see less.”
When it comes to giving compliments, this is so true!
Finally, aiming for 1 compliment per day is just one step in the battle against taking your marriage for granted.
We’ve already established that marriage is hard work, right up there with parenting, and when you don’t put in the work, your marriage suffers.
Today, whether you’re at work or at home, start the compliment habit. Remember why you love your spouse, what you admire about them, and what flaws you’re willing to look past every day.
What do you think about giving your spouse compliments on a regular basis?
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I truly believe a compliment helps so much in my marriage. If we’re in a bit of a heated argument about something, if I say something like “I think you’re a great dad, and you’re the cutest one too, but….” it helps and at least brings a sense of lightness – pressure’s off. It’s a good thing to remember and I’m so glad you brought this up.
Thank you for reminding me.