Every day, it seems, my life revolves around money.
At work, I tell money where to go, determine what the money did, and decide where the money is going.
Then I get home and look at what money came in, where we need to spend money, and find ways to save more of it.
Focusing on money isn’t a bad thing, especially when you have lofty goals like I do, but I sometimes wonder if too much of a good thing can be a bad thing.
Case in point – Connecting with your spouse
Obviously, marriage gets harder after you have kids. Sure, you could let your lives be consumed by the kids and their needs, merely coexisting rather than connecting like you used to.
But when you decide to put some effort into your marriage, you discover that getting away from the kids is expensive, and my money-oriented brain has trouble processing that. Babysitters are expensive, and while grandparents are great, they’re busy and we’re busy and our schedules don’t always line up. Not to mention dinner, a cooking class, or a night out with friends. All of those things can add up to a lot of money!
The Big Guy & I have been coasting through.
We’re not fighting, we’re actually in complete agreement. But we’re not connecting.
We’re both to blame, but for my part, I can say that money has controlled me for a while. Perhaps it was because our budget was overextended, and letting money control me for a while gave us the focus and dedication it took to get the first major chunk of our debt paid off since we started this whole journey.
We’ve made awesome progress, but it came at a price, and I don’t want the consequences of my singularly money-focused orientation to continue for the next 2 years (or longer!).
Don’t worry – I’m not stepping away from blogging, our debt journey, or even our goals of retiring by 40. And my marriage certainly isn’t on the rocks.
I am merely asking for advice.
Ya’ll are thrifty people, most with significant others, and dare I say – most with kids?
How do you “turn off” the money portion of your brain? How to you enjoy a night out with your spouse, knowing full well that while you budgeted for the expenses, you could have put that $60 to “better” use throwing it at debt?
Is it a matter of mindset, putting your marriage above money, or can single-minded money focus and connecting to your spouse coexist?
Help me, please! – I would love to hear your advice!
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